cant, hold, it.....

(Mmmmmm....Baaaaaahhhhhhhhh......)
****Breaths deeply kneeling down****
*sigh*
okay, so here we are, im done holding my breath and i have begun my recession of the heart.....
i have so much love to give, and i hold my love dear...... my love for ppl is one thing i feel like i cant get rid of, no matter how low my heart drops in temperature......i just think that there are some ppl who try our patience, and try em and try em and try em, till the rubber hits the road and the poo falls in your face......do you like it when a man tells you he'd love you forever? dont you love it when a girl says she needs you? wouldnt it be great for those two ppl to meet...? match made in heaven....

though, this is not going to turn into a "cry my heart out" blog, i feel like it must be sayd, and i'll start like this......i'm a lover, not a fighter.... a romancer to the fullest, and a pleaser to the core......i have values and boundries, prefrences and fetishes......i may be spilling emotions onto places where it may not be welcome, or just not ready for.....so i ask, where DO you find love, where does it come from, and when it does, how do you know you're ready for it.....? time will tell.....

maybe i have been a little hard on myself fo things i have no power over, but i just feel like if hapiness can be obtained in life, who says i cant search for it in love....? i've already checked my pockets

where did it all go so horribly wrong where im falling to my knees in the rain, in the middle of a busy street, in rush hour traffic, screamin at the sky, hoping it'd open up and swollow me, so i wouldn't have to endure one more unhappy minute in this existance...? the pendulum still swings....

so this is where i stand, on the cliffs of dispair, at the edge of sanity, in the pits of frustration, on the verge of a breakdown......this is not where i want to be, and itz not what i asked for, so i just want to know what it is i have to do in order to find the riight question to ask myself.....truth is all i seek, and my heart cant lie to me, tho many have given me reason to believe it has, i still believe i have a ways to go b4 i really find my answer.....tho i still dont know the question, the feeling one gets when on the doorstep of a great discovery still looms in my chest......i have nothing but tiime but where is time leading me....? or is it fate moving my hands and feet....? do you hear me...? ANSWER ME!!!!!!!



(tik-a-tik-a-tik-a-tik-a-tik-a-tik-DING)
The Flo.......10q